9 Safety tips for your wife and daughters: Focus on situational awareness

No-one wants to be a victim.

photo credit: Paul Green - unsplash
No-one wants to feel helpless. Everyone wants to feel safe and confident.  Some of the tips on this list are common sense - or at least should be. Remember, the best defense is to be aware of your surroundings. This probably means: put your phone (or other electronic distraction device) in your pocket, keep your head up and keep looking around yourself. This is situational awareness. The basic concept is to look around, assess for anything “out of the ordinary” and strategize an escape or plan of action. Often times noise, resistance and running away can be enough to avert a dangerous situation.

 1. Tip from martial arts: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, DO SO!

 2. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you....  chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

 3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy.  The driver won't see you, but everybody else will.  This has saved lives. If the truck has a release, only open the truck enough to signal other vehicles and not alert your abductor to your signals.

 4. Commonly women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc). DON'T DO THIS! A predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head to abduct you. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

 5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

  • A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, in the back seat and underneath the car.
  • B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door.  Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
  • C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

 6.  ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs! (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot and most elevators have security cameras).

 7. Women tend to be sympathetic: STOP IT!! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked for help into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his victim.

 8. There are reports of a women hearing a crying baby on her porch the night before last (or it could be any type of distress noise), and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her "Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded, and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear a baby crying outside their doors, when they're home alone at night.

 9.  Never pick up a hitchhiker who is a stranger to you, even if it is a kid. Someone might be hiding and waiting to jump into your car when you stop. Dangerous people come in all ages!

This list is not a comprehensive self defense list, it is a list to spur you into thinking and being aware of the world around you. I recommend that if you are interested in learning more self defense, check your local area for reputable classes or groups for training and support. Always be aware of your surroundings and be cautious.

What are your best safety tips?   

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How do Legos build relationships: Using playtime to connect with your kids.

Building Legos with kids

Legos Star Wars set 75045
I have started trying to set aside an evening each week to spend with my younger kids building and playing with Legos. Since I truly am still a kid at heart, this has been a great excuse for me to have a play time. I have loved building several Star Wars lego kits, a truck & trailer with cars and also Lego friends kits with my girls. It has been an amazing time. Sometimes we rebuild a set we own, sometimes a new set and sometimes we just dump a bunch of bricks on the table and go at it to see what we can invent. The creativity, tactile learning and sense accomplishment in completing a project is invaluable across all the ages.


Completed walker & canon
The activity has been such an educational experience for all of us. The kids are learning about organization, following directions, creativity and completing projects. Then as they take apart and rebuild the kits on their own and with each other they learn a great skill in disassembling and reassembling the kits, which reinforces the afore mentioned benefits. I believe the developmental benefits of these type of activities is essential and has long term ramifications. Brain development, social skills, manual dexterity and conflict resolution are some of the areas I believe benefit greatly from building legos. 

Not all roses

Don't misunderstand, it's not all happy go lucky. The kids certainly have their conflicts during these times. I mean, it's not like we don't have 50 red 4 blocks or 20 blue flat 12's. Sarcasm aside, other skills it forces them to work through are sharing, selfishness, flexibility (changing plans on the fly), disappointment and conflict - just to name a few.

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The whole experience of playing Legos as a group has had such a great effect on their social skills as well. Legos are expensive, but one decent sized set does provide hours of engagement and interaction which I find an investment and worth the expense. We have been focused on Star Wars sets of late, due to the recent release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens and the big push through the Christmas season of the Star Wars legos sets, however many type of sets are available. DC Comics, Justice League, Marvel Comics, The Avengers, Batman, The City and Legos Friends are just a few of the categories available. If you have a favorite genre, character or movie - there is probably a legos set just for you. So, invest in your kids, get a set and play with them today.


Building Legos with my kids brings out the kid in me, which I need to do more often. What do you do to connect with your kids and the kid within?

Completed troop transport

New Year's morning commercials show that men are stupid

So, New Years morning I was watching the Rose Parade and I saw two commercials for upcoming television series. Both of which depicted the husband/father as a bumbling disconnected idiot. Is this what we call entertainment? Is this the way husbands and fathers actually act? Is this the way women want their husbands/fathers to act? It seems to me that the continued portrayal of men as perpetually stupid, ignorant and clueless is feeding the general societal attitude towards men. Multiple studies have shown that a positive male influence in the home makes a world of difference in the long tern growth and development of children, and the marriage. Yet, television and the movies continually either glorify the absence of the father or make him such an idiot, it would be better that the character not be included. For instance, I can’t think of a recent Disney movie that portrayed the father in a positive  influential role. In fact, most of the big movies of late have depicted not only the father but adults in general as the antagonists or clueless. Movies such as The Hunger Games series, The Divergent series and Maze runner portray the older male adults in such a manner.

It is time to make a change. This is an instance where life should not imitate art, but rather life should inspire art. It is time for men to stand up and be who we were meant to be. Whether they will readily admit it or not, our wives and children long for us men to step up and take the lead. 

One of the main goals of this web site is to encourage men to reclaim our role as leaders in our families, homes and communities. Not the stereotypical male chauvinist, overbearing dictator that the feminist movement has demonized since the 1960’s, but rather servant leaders who act in the best interest of their families and communities. It is time for men to step up, no, MAN UP and become the responsible, intelligent servant leaders we were meant to be. 

We, as men, need to assume responsibility for the role we are meant to fill in our communities and society so that the perception and depiction of men in movies and TV shows and life will change to reflect the role men are divinely called and charged to be. Like it or not, we ARE leading by example, what is your example right now?

What are you going to do to crush the Hollywood stereotype and become the servant leader to your family and community? 

How are you going to change your world?